Going to start… mainly b/c I ATE so much today. But it was good. I had a bunch of Indian sweets, ice cream, and chicken drumsticks. The ice cream was mainly b/c I couldn’t get fries.
So since I’m super craving fries I might get some tomorrow or maybe Saturday.
So tomorrow is going to be a low calorie day. I’m going to stay at home instead of going to school to study, that way I won’t go buy cafeteria food.
Scale hasn’t moved in like 3 days, ever since I stopped taking OEP. I stopped b/c it was messing with my sleep so I think it was messing with my memory and school. But now I’m bloated…alas.
So going to stay off OEP until I go home b/c school is the number 1 priority. Then once I go home, I’ll start taking it again. I really worry about going home. My parents are definitely going to notice that I’m not eating as much as I used to. My mom probably won’t care since if I eat less that means she can eat less too. But my dad will get on my case. And it’s not that I’m under eating by much. I just used to eat SO SO much.
Sometimes I want to just drastically lose weight so that my parents see how hard med school has been and they feel sorry for me.
Warning… I’m going to start reblogging bodies that I think are absolutely gorgeous.
On one hand… it’s great b/c I’m losing weight
On the other hand…. I’d really like to keep the fat on my legs. They’re already super muscular just from genetics…. so loosing fat is going to make them look even more muscular. And I guess unlike most girls.. I don’t want a thigh gap. Then I’ll look bowlegged and the dancer in me doesn’t like that look at all.
Maybe soon the fat will start coming off more from my stomach and boobs and back. That would be FANTASTIC. But I guess as long as I’m losing, I really shouldn’t be complaining.
I also realized today that my wii has been set at -2 lbs so it takes 2 lbs off my actual weight, but I’ve been weighing myself in my underwear… so I’m not actually wearing 2lbs. Oops.
I realized that a lot of the time I use food to avoid studying. I’m not actually hungry. But when studying becomes hard and I get frustrated I will be like “hmm I’m hungry” and go eat so that I don’t have to study and then blame food coma for my lack of efficiency.
I also like to look at thinspo. It’s not so much I want to be THAT skinny. But I like it more than fitspo. With fitspo you get a bunch of super buff women. I don’t ever want to look like that, not my thing. With thinspo, yeah there’s a lot of scarily skinny girls (which reminds me to eat actually) but there’s also just a lot of HOT girls who look like what I want to look like.
Whooo! Week 1 done. This has been a fantastic week. I’m a lot better this time at resisting food compared to normal. :) Next week is the week before finals so I think this eating will continue. Plus I need to eat all the food out of my apartment since I’m moving out.
I’m also going to channel the anger I have at my mom into losing weight and working out. She’s basically trying to emotionally blackmail me into breaking up with my bf. It’s not even like I’m going out with a bad guy, I’m going out with a med student ie future doctor who’s really nice to me and to other people. She just doesn’t like that he’s Indian…. grrr… stupid stereotypes. Anyways whatevs… good week. Hopefully next week will be just as good!
So I didn’t mean to exercise THAT much. I was like… yeah I’ll go ride stationary bike until I do all my pharm flash cards…. and I did maybe half of them. Ended up biking 14.55 miles in 85 min at level 5. Yeah…. now I just need to poop out yesterday’s fries and burger and weight will be back down.
So we went out to eat as our last fun thing before 2 weeks of exams starts. I got a burger, curly fries. Then we had honor society which had cake. So I ate 1000 almost for lunch. I wasn’t hungry until pretty late, so I just had some edamame as my dinner. Not to bad. Oh and weight was 138.9. It’s amazing what unbloating can do. Water weighs a lot…